Hi, I’M DEREK

I’m just your average, super-tall, cookie-hunting cyborg with exceptional eyebrow control. I'm originally from the Los Angeles area, though I don't surf or know anyone famous. But I did accidentally buy Christopher Mintz-Plasse a tank of gas once. You know. McLovin from Superbad. Yeah, that guy.

Likes: swimming, blind taste tests, Christmas, room service, fireworks, Tiki bars and video games [Steam ID: detayl] [Gamertag: detayl].

Dislikes: complex resumes, the Olympics, the phrase “it is what it is,” unnecessary initial caps, that Sean Bean’s name doesn’t rhyme and whoever the hell owns detayl.com. You monster.

HUMAN CONTACT IS GOOD FOR YOU